Things to Learn Living Off-Grid in the Mountains

Things to Learn Living Off-Grid in the Mountains

--People who bathe every day are wasteful.
--People who bathe three times a week are wasteful.
--Learn to enjoy cute little critters - chipmunks, deer, grouse, elk, moose, porcupine, pack rats, mice, mountain lions and bears.
--Learn how to use a gun.
--People who have electricity are soft.
--Learn that stumbling around in the dark is good practice for you if you ever go blind.
--Outhouses are more sanitary. People who poo inside their homes are gross.
--Learn to think of the noise the generator makes running 12 hours a week as good, restful, ambient noise - kind of like crashing waves!
--People who have running water in their homes are spoiled.
--Yes, the pipe coming out of the wood stove gets hot too. Ouch.
--Learn that having to heat water on the wood stove (to boiling) to wash your dishes with is more hygienic. And good for your hands!
--Gathering ten cords of wood in the summer - getting into shape the easy way!
--Learn that splitting ten cords of wood by hand is GREAT therapy.
--Learn that going to GET your water each week makes you appreciate every single drop.
--Learn to like your mate - he's all you've got.
--Learn basic nursing skills - stitches, tourniquets, saving mangled limbs, etc...
--Learn to think of your weight gain and bigger butt as extra padding to keep you warm in winter. Skinny = COLD.
--DO NOT try to pet a bear or mountain lion cub, no matter how little and cute they are and how tempting it is.
--If you see a mountain lion or bear cub, PANIC, 'cause Momma is close by.
--Learn that snowshoes do not necessarily keep you on top of the snow.
--Learn to be adventuresome and try new foods - grouse, moose, elk, porcupine, pack rat, road kill, etc...
--Learn to think of 18 hours of darkness in the winter as good protection against skin cancer!
--Learn to use a chainsaw. It will be your best friend.
--Memorize the number of Life Flight.
--Learn to think of your dogs as loyal companions, rat catchers and early warning systems, but NOT as protection. They will be gone at the first sign of trouble. Tsk. 
--Be sure to name your old truck, tractor and chainsaw. That way you will treat them as the indispensable friends they are. Names like Willy, Bertha, Fred, Charlie and Wilma are good respectable names they can be proud of.
--Do NOT however name your chickens, pigs, rabbits or goats. They will probably be dinner one day and you don't want to sit down and have to face Kirby on a plate.
--Learn to appreciate the blisters you get from burning your hand on the wood stove - over and over again. They are badges of honor.
--Do NOT wear lip balm before you cut wood, sweep or deal with pack-rat-home 'dust'. You will regret it.
--Learn to think of SPAM as comfort food.
--Learn to not ever sit things on top of your wood stove when you're not using it in the summer. You WILL forget and do it in the winter too.
--Learn to love venison and other 'game' meats. It's the only thing you will ever eat again.
--Learn to love the wonderful peace and quiet (or you will go mad). There will be LOTS of it.
--Learn to love hearing your husband tell the same stories over and over (and over) again. Think of it as getting to know him really well.
--Learn to like living without modern conveniences like a microwave, dishwasher, coffee maker, T.V., hair dryer, power and hot water. Life is just so much simpler this way.
--Learn which plants and mushrooms are edible. Mistakes are disastrous if not highly entertaining.
--Learn to live happily without a T.V. You don't need to know what's going on in the world anyway. And you'll have more time to hear your husband's stories!
--Learn to think of driving on steep icy roads as 'skiing in your car'. It's FUN!
--Learn to think of soot covering everything in your house as a protective barrier and a great way to leave messages for your mate.
--Learn to wear a black robe instead of a white one. The white one will just be black at some point anyway.
--Learn to think of road kill as 'nicely seasoned meat'.
--Learn to think of the green stuff floating in your water as 'healthful algae'.
--Learn to think of contact with other human beings as annoying. Once or twice a year is plenty. Friends and relatives? Who needs 'em? (sob)
--Learn to think of the used toilet paper that you're not allowed to flush in the actual toilet as a GREAT fire starter. (Ick)
--Learn that not flushing your toilet every single time you use it makes YOU a very responsible water saver.
--Learn to listen to your husband and tamp down the snow before you go pee. It will save much misery and embarrassment. Trust me.
--Learn to duck when your husband yells and ask questions later.
--Learn to keep your mouth shut when you are mudding the ceiling.
--Learn to keep your mouth shut when your husband suggests using potato sacks as 'curtains'.
--DO NOT let your husband pick out the paint. He is going for cheapest, not prettiest. He will adamantly deny that puce is ugly.
--Learn to love and appreciate pack rats, hard-working, admirable little #%&^%*^'s!.
--Learn to think of ice covering the inside of your windows as cool (yes, it's intended.)
--Learn to think of callouses as beautiful things - you earned them
--Learn to think of the fifteen years of age you've put on your face in three years as the look of a woman who is strong, mature and full of character, which others will admire and envy.
--Learn to think of poachers as target practice.
--Learn to put the deep, deep mines you have on your place to good use!
--Learn that a sunny day in the winter is a gift straight from God and is to be soaked up and appreciated for the rare and wonderful thing it is.
--Learn the meaning of 'three dog night' and put it to use.
--Learn to appreciate shivering - it burns calories!
--Learn how to use: a tractor, snow plow, snow blower, water pump, chainsaw, back hoe, air compressor, welder, generator, Insta Heat, inverter, skill saw, drill, hammer, road grader, old piece of poo lawn mower, weed eater with metal teeth instead of wire, a maul and wedge, wood stove, battery charging cables, chains for the tires and tractor, the tractor bucket and shredder, a cantankerous 1958 Willys Truck, etc...etc...etc....

See? No big deal. Piece of cake. Really.

On Mountain Friendships

On Mountain Friendships

 

 

 My life has been rich with friends. My cup has runneth over with good, loving, sweet people who have been very good to me. Some of these people I have known since I was 12, almost 40 years! The friends I made in school feel more like family, like sisters, and no matter how rarely I get to see them, they still mean the world to me. We are still here for each other after all these years. I love them. I would do anything I could for them. They say that you don't ever make friends again in life like the ones you made in high school. I believed this myself until recently. But no longer.

When I moved to Missoula, Montana 7 and 1/2 years ago, I didn't know anyone here. I expected to make friends quickly because I had never had a problem making friends before. Well, much to my surprise, it wasn't as easy as I expected. The people here were lovely, warm and friendly, really nice, but because most of the women I've met here have full-time jobs and because of the remoteness of where I lived, making good, close friendships proved to be not only difficult but near impossible. This situation was distressing for me. I had never not had friends to talk to, lean on, go to dinner and a movie with. I experienced a couple of years of barren, desert wasteland in the friend department. I was LONELY. I was starving for girl time. I missed my friends back home! As time went on I began to begrudgingly accept the situation. I had tried so hard and so many different things to make these relationships work but simply put, it wasn't happenin'. I lived too far from town. Everybody worked and had families and were too busy. Even my nearest neighbor and (eventual) mountain friend Sue who worked was gone all the time and we just never saw each other. Sigh .... oh well. My long-distance friendships would have to be enough for now. I guess.

Then things started to change. We had more people move up here on the mountain. It used to be pretty much just us and Tim and Sue, but now! So many people! And you know what I discovered? Mountain friendships are different. They are essential. Indispensable. Cherished. Amazingly special. They are to be cultivated, fed and protected. And you know why? Because we need each other up here. The circumstances of living on top of a mountain in Montana, off-grid, with ten tons of snow each year are difficult to say the least. And sometimes, whether you want to ask or not, you need help. You are going to need help at some point, there's no way around it. So you need each other, at times desperately. And because you need each other so much, you care for these relationships, you forgive more easily, you go out of your way in ways you never have before, you discover a whole new meaning to the word 'friendship'. You realize that this is what it's supposed to mean, this is what it should have been all along. You see that you have discovered real treasure on this mountain that is better than silver or gold.

When Boone, our Golden Retriever puppy, went missing, many people up here, without being asked, went out to hunt for him, for hours. And hours. When we got snowed in a couple of years ago and were in real trouble but didn't want to ask for help, here came our mountain friend Tim on his big ol' tractor around the corner plowing for all he was worth. He saved our bacon that day. When Butch was living in the barn while building the house, it got down to -30 one night and Sue came up and told Butch to get in her car, that he was sleeping at her and Tim's house that night, NO argument. When I mentioned on Facebook (thank God for FB!) that Butch was having trouble with his back and that he might not be able to get home because it snowed so hard, our friend Sharon sent our friend Jeremie up here with her plow truck to plow us out, again, without being asked. When I was depressed one year at Halloween because I was missing my kids, Sue and Tim and two other friends showed up all dressed in costumes with a huge pizza as a surprise for me, to cheer me up. And it did. When our road became an ice slick this year and I was afraid to drive on it, my friend Shirley came up here to get me and took me to town to run a full day of errands. What fun we had! Our Texas friend Ron who has a cabin up here heard me complain about cold feet and he gave a nice pair of boots and socks to me so my feet would be warm. I could go on and on and on.

I am so touched by their constant generosity, their thoughtfulness, their willingness to go out of their way for others and be real, true neighbors. I have never known friendship like this before. I am overwhelmed with gratefulness. I am humbled by their actions and love. They show me that there is still amazing goodness in people, that there is true beauty in the human soul and how we were meant to be. And how I want to be. Mountain Friendships. What a discovery. What a treasure. What a gift!